


Holiday Hijinks

by TVTime



Category: Glee
Genre: Caring Sebastian, Christmas Fluff, Comedy, Comedy of Errors, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Misunderstandings, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 04:42:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8830828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TVTime/pseuds/TVTime
Summary: This is a collection of short, holiday-themed stories featuring the Sebastian/Nick and Hunter/Jeff pairings with Niff and Huntbastian friendships. The stories are standalone but exist in the same character universe in sequential order.Sebastian's Secret Ingredient:Description: Well-meaning Nick wants to make a holiday cake for his best friend Jeff, but he's going to need the help of his snarky husband, Sebastian, to keep it from turning into a disaster.  “It's not a big deal,” Nick insisted, folding his arms and pouting. “When I was about ten I thought it would be nice to cook my parents dinner for their anniversary.”“And?”“And...And, uh, there was a...” Nick muttered the rest indistinctly. “A what?”“A small, teensy weensy fire,” Nick admitted, holding his thumb and forefinger together to emphasizes the diminutive nature of the blaze. After a moment he reluctantly added, “That spread to the neighbor's house.”“Oh my god! You burned down your neighborhood?!?”“NO! Just two houses, not the whole neighborhood...Nobody was hurt at least,” Nick said, trying to look on the bright side. His face fell again as he reconsidered. “Well, not that time anyway.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is a collection of short, holiday-themed stories featuring the Sebastian/Nick and Hunter/Jeff pairings with Niff and Huntbastian friendships. The stories are standalone but exist in the same character universe in sequential order.
> 
> Sebastian's Secret Ingredient  
> Description: Well-meaning Nick wants to make a holiday cake for his best friend Jeff, but he's going to need the help of his snarky husband, Sebastian, to keep it from turning into a disaster. Future fic. Humor, Fluff, and Romance.

**Holiday Hijinks:**

**Sebastian's Secret Ingredient**

 

“I want a divorce,” Sebastian stated as he sauntered into the kitchen and plunked down a heaping armload of groceries.

 

Nick glanced up from his position at the center island where he was measuring out flour and dumping it into a large bowl. “Did you get the eggs?”

 

Sebastian huffed and began digging through the bags for the requested item. “I tell you I want a divorce and you ask me for eggs?”

 

Nick shrugged and grinned at his husband. “I really need eggs.”  
  


Sebastian shook his head, exasperated as he crossed the room and gently set down two full cartons. He gave Nick a peck on the lips and then took a moment to wipe a smudge of flour off his cheek before he continued, “Fine, you can have all the eggs in the settlement. I get everything else – the house, our summer estate, the property in Europe, the cars, all our furniture, clothes, electronics, everything...and you get _eggs_.”

 

Nick eyed the top carton, his face lighting up as he spied the 'Free Range – Organic' label. “Sounds fair.”

 

Sebastian smirked at him and pressed another kiss to his lips to keep from cracking up. “I hate you.”

 

“I love you too, Seb.” Nick gave Sebastian's arm an affectionate squeeze, leaving a flour-handprint in his wake. Then he returned his attention to his 'award settlement' and popped the lid. “So what's the reason for all this maritime discontinence anyway?”

 

“Too much seawater probably,” Sebastian deadpanned.

 

Nick tilted his head to the side and regarded him with confusion for a few seconds before he realized he probably hadn't asked the right question. He cracked the first egg into his bowl and shrugged. “You know what I meant.”

 

Sebastian sniggered at him before returning to his groceries and beginning to unpack them. “The reason for our  _marital discordance_ is that my goofball husband decided to give all our servants a week off at the same time, and–”

 

“With pay and a Christmas bonus,” Nick interjected in his rarely-used firm tone of voice. Sebastian oversaw paying them and Nick wanted to be sure his husband was well aware of the promises he'd made.

 

“With pay and a Christmas bonus,” Sebastian parroted in a squeaky voice, rolling his eyes. “And made _me_ go to the grocery store of all places.”

 

“Oh, of all places!” Nick repeated with a laugh. “It was only a Whole Foods. I didn't send you to some Stop-N-Rob in the middle of the hood.”

 

Sebastian frowned and shot Nick a dirty look. “I don't know where any of this crap goes by the way.”

 

Nick nodded sympathetically and cracked another egg. “Yeah, me either. It took me twenty minutes just to find the mixing bowl.”

 

“That's a salad bowl by the way,” Sebastian informed him.

 

“Ah, but I _mixing_ in it,” Nick reasoned sagely.

 

Sebastian sighed. “Tell me again why we couldn't just buy a damn cake and save ourselves from this ordeal?”

 

Nick frowned. “Because Jeffy always misses his family around the holidays, and his mom used to bake a homemade red velvet cake every year. It'll make him feel good.”

 

“He won't feel good once he tastes it.”  
  


“Hey! I know what I'm doing,” Nick countered defensively, waving his gooey mixing spoon indignantly at Sebastian and snickering when a few droplets of batter splattered across his shirt. “Besides, he'll appreciate the effort.”

 

Sebastian gave Nick a frosty glare as he grabbed a dishtowel off the counter and began dabbing at his shirt. “Oh sure, he'll appreciate the effort...Then Hunter will have to spend the evening on his knees holding Jeff's hair back while he vomits.”

 

“I'll take a turn with that if they're still here when he starts,” Nick offered helpfully. “Anyway, I'm sure my cake won't make Jeff vomit. It's gonna be red. He loves red!”

 

“Yes, I'm sure that'll make all the difference.”

 

A moment later Sebastian growled in frustration as he realized the dishtowel he'd chosen to clean his shirt with was the same one Nick had been using to wipe his hands. He was now covered in powdery, white flour.

 

“You should prolly go ahead and just take that shirt right off,” Nick suggested with a leer – one he'd picked up from Sebastian over the years.

 

Sebastian rolled his eyes, but acquiesced, beginning to unbutton the garment.

 

“If you get any flour on my chest or stomach you're _licking_ it off,” Sebastian warned as he peeled his shirt away and tossed it toward the base of the island.

 

“Damn right I am!” Nick declared gleefully. He scooped up a hefty lump of poorly-mixed batter and glanced back and forth between it and his husband's abs mischievously.

 

“Don't even think about it!” Sebastian raised his hands defensively and backpedaled.

 

“But– licking,” Nick whined.

 

“Do it and those eggs are going straight back to the grocery store.” Sebastian's threat was hollow. _Nothing_ was going to make him go back to that grocery store.

 

“Fine,” Nick grumbled. “But I'm having my way with you once the cake's on the stove.”

 

“On the stove?” Sebastian repeated, quirking an eyebrow at Nick.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Really? The stove?”

 

“Sebastian, I know it would be quicker, but we are _not_ serving Jeff and Hunter microwaved cake.”

 

Sebastian chuckled. “Try again, hon.” He inclined his head toward the oven.

 

Realization flashed across Nick's face. “Ohh! Wow, I didn't know you knew so much about cooking.”

 

“I didn't know it was possible to look up a cake recipe and not notice anything about baking.”

 

“I only got as far as the ingredients,” Nick confided.

 

“Thank god we're having Christmas dinner at my dad's,” Sebastian commented.

 

“Aww, that's so sweet that you're looking forward to spending time with him,” Nick answered, smiling as he picked a few pieces of errant eggshell out of his lumpy concoction.

 

“I'm looking forward to spending time with Malinda's cooking,” Sebastian clarified.

 

“Actually, once we get there I'm planning to give her the day off too,” Nick stage whispered conspiratorially.

 

Sebastian was aghast. “You cannot give my father's maid the day off.”

 

“Of course I can,” Nick insisted. “She's like my maid-in-law. Besides, she should spend the holidays with her family.”

 

“We are her family,” Sebastian answered with a simple shrug. “She's been with us since I was eight.”

 

“I never knew that,” Nick said, smiling at the revelation and making a mental note to ask her for stories about Sebastian's childhood. “Then we'll get her to stay and eat with the rest of the family, but get everyone else to pitch in and take a turn for a change.”

 

Sebastian laughed out loud. “Can you really imagine my dad with his hand up a turkey's ass?”

 

“Eww! Yuck, no! Why would he do that?” Nick asked in disgust.

 

“Stuffing,” Sebastian responded, amused at his husband's naivete. “How can you be so obnoxiously down to Earth and yet know next to nothing about cooking?”

 

Nick blushed and looked away.

 

“Nick, how do you know so little about cooking?” Sebastian pressed, already sensing that the answer would provide him with weeks worth of teasing material.

 

Nick looked up reluctantly, his ears a flushed crimson. He saw the predatory mirth on his husband's face and took one last-ditch effort to save himself.

 

“God, Seb, you're so hot. I have to have you _now_! ” Nick lunged forward, latching onto Sebastian's mouth with his lips while simultaneously beginning to unclasp his belt. Nick felt Sebastian's lips pull into a smirk as he caught Nick's hands and gently pushed him away.

 

“Nice try, hon. Now tell me what happened.”

 

Sebastian rebuckled his belt, his bare stomach tensing and strong arms flexing as he did so. Nick decided it was entirely unfair that Sebastian was making him talk about this instead of christening the kitchen countertop.

 

“It's not a big deal,” Nick insisted, folding his arms and pouting. “When I was about ten I thought it would be nice to cook my parents dinner for their anniversary.”

 

“And?”

 

“And...And, uh, there was a...” Nick muttered the rest indistinctly.

 

“A what?”

 

“A small, teensy weensy fire,” Nick admitted, holding his thumb and forefinger together to emphasizes the diminutive nature of the blaze. After a moment he reluctantly added, “That spread to the neighbor's house.”

 

“Oh my god! You burned down your neighborhood?!?”

 

“NO! Just two houses, not the whole neighborhood...Nobody was hurt at least,” Nick said, trying to look on the bright side. His face fell again as he reconsidered. “Well, not that time anyway.”

 

“What do you mean not _that_ time? You started more than one fire?”

 

“Of course not. I wouldn't be so careless. I learned my lesson the first time.”

 

“But?”

 

“ _But_ , a few months later, after the kitchen was rebuilt, I tried again to make a family dinner. Sort of as an apology, you know?”

 

“What happened?”

 

“Dystopia,” Nick answered.

 

“Your cooking demoralized an entire society?”

 

“Oh no.” Nick shook his head vigorously. “No, it just gave my dad and sister really epic diarrhea for a long time.” Nick slumped against the counter, feeling horrible all over again about everything that had happened. “I thought that was called dystopia?”

 

“Dysentery dear,” Sebastian corrected soothingly. He wrapped his arms around Nick and kissed the side of his head as he pulled him into a hug. He was _definitely_ going to make fun of Nick later, but not while he was so vulnerable.

 

“Anyway, after all that...my parents and Maggie wouldn't even let me go the refrigerator for awhile without supervision. Definitely no cooking.” Nick squeezed Sebastian close and nuzzled into his neck, enjoying the warmth and comfort that were radiating off of him.

 

Sebastian stroked his back, but quietly pressed on, trying to get to the bottom of Nick's renewed interest in the culinary arts. “So you thought baking Jeff a cake and trying to cook our families Christmas dinner would–”

 

“Would be the perfect way to do something nice while finally proving that I could handle food responsibly!” Nick finished enthusiastically.

 

“I see,” Sebastian answered carefully. He gently grabbed Nick's shoulders and eased him back to make eye contact. “But do you think perhaps food poisoning isn't quite the best gift to give all of our loved ones this holiday season?”

 

Nick frowned and scrunched up his face as he thought it over. “Maybe gift cards?”

 

“Yeah, maybe gift cards.” Sebastian nodded, relieved that Nick seemed willing to abandon his ill-conceived plan. He wasn't keen to spend New Year's in the hospital with a fluid drip.

 

“But what about Jeffy's cake?” Nick asked with concern. “He has one every year to feel better.”

 

“But he hasn't seen his parents since–”

 

“My mom usually makes it for him,” Nick explained. “But I told her not to this year and made a big deal about how I was going to do. Seb, he _has_ to have one. This would be the first year he didn't. Then he'd be all sad about his stupid, evil family, and it would be all my fault. And he would get that quivery look on his face and–”

 

“Nick.” Sebastian held up his hands, resigned to his fate. “I'll bake it for him.” Sebastian smirked and added, “That's _baking_ , because people _bake_ cakes. In the _oven_.”

 

“Aww, you're the best, Seb!” Nick threw his arms around him again and hugged him close. As he let go he ran his hand across Sebastian's sculpted chest and down the line of his taut stomach. “I am _so_ licking you later.”

 

Sebastian laughed. “Yes. Yes you are.”

 

“Have you ever baked anything before?” Nick inquired.

 

“No,” Sebastian answered. “But I already have a secret ingredient in mind.”

 

“Is it love?” Nick asked, smiling sweetly as Sebastian stepped around him and returned to his groceries. He picked up an unmarked bag.

 

“It's rum!” Sebastian corrected, withdrawing the bottle.

 

Nick chuckled and pressed a kiss to his husband's smirking lips. “You're absolutely incorruptible, Sebastian.”

 

“I think you mean 'incorrigible,' Nick.”

 

“Nope, pretty sure I got that one right.”

 

Sebastian rolled his eyes as he looked up 'red velvet rum cake' on his phone. He'd already survived going to a grocery store, how much more difficult could this be?

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this story. I'd appreciate some feedback on what you thought if you have the chance. Happy Holidays!


End file.
